Category: Complete Guide

We just learned various ways to make a request. Now, we are going to look at some ways to make suggestions or recommendations.

How about it?

The simplest way to make a suggestion is by using the word “how”: 「どう」. We already learned the grammar we need to do this with the 「の」 particle.

Example

1. ５時に会うのはどう？
   How about meeting at 5:00?
2. 先生に相談してみるのはどうですか。
   How about trying to confer with (the) teacher?

Another very similar pattern is to use the 「たら」 conditional to ask, “how about if”.

Example

1. ５時に会ったらどう？
   How about if (we) meet at 5:00?
2. 先生に相談してみたらどうですか。
   How about if (you) try to confer with (the) teacher.

It’s better to do this

Another option is to use a comparison 「方」 to say it’s better to do one thing versus the alternative. Using the past tense of the verb in this pattern makes the suggestion more particular to the situation at hand and hence makes it sound a bit stronger.

Example

1. 病院に行った方がいいよ。
   It’s better (for you) to go to hospital. (You should go to the hospital.)
2. 病院に行く方がいいよ。
   It’s better to go to hospital.
3. ひざが痛いですけど、病院に行った方がいいですか。
   (My) knee hurts but is (it) better to go to the hospital?

Asking for suggestions

We just learned how to ask if it’s better to do one thing by using a comparison with 「いい」. We can also ask for suggestions on what to do by using the conditional and 「いい」 as shown in the examples below.

Example

1. ９時に行けばいいの？
   I should go at 9 o’clock?
   lit: If (I) go at 9 o’clock, is (it) good?
2. どうすればいいですか。
   What should (I) do?
   lit: If (I) do how, will (it) be good?
3. ジャズは何から聴いたらいいですか。
   What should (I) start listening from for Jazz?
   lit: As for Jazz, if (I) start listening from what, is (it) good?

当たり前

ジョン：日本語で何かを頼む時に、「あげる」「くれる」「もらう」の中でどれを使えばいいか、よく分からないんだよな。

アリス：私が教えてあげようか？例を言ってみて。

ジョン：じゃ、他人に何かをしてあげる時にどれを使ったらいい？

アリス：それは、「あげる」でしょう？

ジョン：他人が自分のために何かをしてくれた時は？

アリス：それは、当然「くれる」。

ジョン：最後に、自分が何かを他人にしてもらいたい時？

アリス：・・・そんな質問を日本語で聞けるのなら、もう問題ないんじゃないの？

ジョン：ごめん、自分の質問の意味も分かってなかった。

アリス：・・・

While we learned how to ask for favors in the last section, in this section we’ll learn various ways to make firmer requests in the form of a statement.

Using 「ください」 to make a firm request

「ください」（下さい） is a polite way to make a firm request for something. It can also be used with the te-form of a verb to request an action. It can be written in either Kanji or Hiragana though it’s more common to use Hiragana when combined with a verb.

Example

1. あのペンを下さい。
   Please give me that pen.
2. あのペンを使ってください。
   Please use that pen.

Negative verb with 「ください」

In order to ask to not do something, take the negative of the word, attach 「で」, then attach 「ください」 similar to the rule we learned in the last section.

Example

1. ボールペンは使わないでください。
   Please don’t use (a) pen.
2. 着替え中ですから入らないでください。
   (I’m) changing so please don’t come in.

Casual version of 「ください」

「ください」 is a polite expression so in order to say the same thing for casual situation, we can simply drop 「ください」 entirely.

1. あのペンを使って。
   Please use that pen.
2. ボールペンは使わないで。
   Please don’t use (a) pen.

Using 「ちょうだい」 for casual requests

「ちょうだい」 can be used instead of 「ください」 for casual speech. While 「ちょうだい」 can be used by anyone, it does have a slight feminine and childish nuance.

Example

1. あのペンをちょうだい。
   Give me that pen.
2. あのペンを使ってちょうだい。
   Use that pen.

We can use the three words we just learned for giving and receiving with other verbs to express the action as a favor. This construction is used to make requests and do things for others.

Giving and receiving favors

In order to use one of the three words we learned for giving and receiving with another verb, first change the verb to the te-form and then attach the word for giving or receiving to the end of the verb.

Example

1. 頭が悪いから先生が特別に説明をしてくれた。
   (I’m) not smart so (the) teacher explained (it) specially for me.
2. お金がないから、昼ご飯をおごってくれる？
   (I) don’t have money so will (you) treat me to lunch for me?
3. これが欲しいなら、買ってあげるよ。
   If (you) want this, (I will) buy (it) for you, you know.
4. 今はちょっと手が離せないので、後で電話してもらえますか。
   (I’m) in the middle of something now so can you call (me) later?

Requesting to not do something

In order to express the negative, ie to give the favor of not doing the action, change the verb to the negative, attach 「で」, then the word for giving or receiving.

Example

1. 突然変なことを言わないでくれる？
   Can you not say strange thing(s) all of a sudden?
2. 勉強しているからうるさくしないでくれる？
   (I’m) studying so can you not do noisily for me?
3. 今月の家計はきついからしばらくはお金を使わないでもらえる？
   This month’s family finance is tight so can (I) receive favor of not using money for a while?

怠け者

父： おい、アリス！

アリス： 何よ？

父： そこの窓を閉めてくれないか？

アリス： わざわざ目の前にある窓を閉めてもらうために私を大声で呼んだの？しかも、別の部屋から。

父： いいことを教えてあげよう。お前もいつか子供が出来たらこんなのも出来るんだって。

アリス： 自分の子供をこき使うのがそんなにいいの？

父： こき使うって、お前、学校で日本語の勉強を始めたら、妙なことを言うようになったな。他の生徒から変な日本語を習っていないだろうか？

アリス： ・・・さすがにそれはないと思う。

Toggle Translations

Father: Hey, Alice!

Alice: What?

Father: Can you close that window (for me)?

Alice: (You) went out of your way to call with loud voice to (receive favor of) closing window in front of (your) eyes? Not to mention, from (a) separate room.

Father: Let me (give you favor of) teaching good thing. That when you have kids one day, you can do this kind of thing.

Alice: Is it so good to push around your own child like that?

Father: Push around… (you’ve) started saying some strange things once (you) started learning Japanese. (You’re) not learning strange Japanese from the other students, right?

Alice: …That I’m pretty sure is not the case.

Giving and receiving whether it’s objects or favors is a bit more complicated in Japanese because you need to be aware of the social status between the giver and the receiver. Basically, there are two words for giving and one word for receiving listed below.

Vocabulary

1. あげる (ru-verb) – to give; to raise
2. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
3. もらう (u-verb) – to receive

In this section, we’ll look at examples of when to use which words for giving and receiving.

Using 「あげる」 to give “upwards”

The word 「あげる」, which also means to “raise” is used when giving upwards to a person of a higher social status. The important thing to remember is that the speaker is always below everybody else. As a result, when the speaker is giving something to somebody else, he/she must always use 「あげる」. In other words, when you, yourself, is giving something, you must always use 「あげる」.

Example

1. これをあげるよ。
   (I’ll) give this to (you).
2. 私は、昨日弟にプレゼントをあげたよ。
   I gave (my) younger brother (the) present yesterday, you know.
3. 私が買った飲み物だから、あげませんよ。
   I bought (the) drink so (I’m) not going to give it (to you).

Using 「くれる」 to give “downwards”

The word 「くれる」 is used to give downwards to a person of a lower social status. Once again, because the speaker is at the bottom, everything given to the speaker will always use 「くれる」. In other words, everything given to you must be expressed with 「くれる」.

Example

1. それをくれるの？
   (Are you) giving that to (me)?
2. 彼氏は、私の誕生日に何もくれなかったよ！
   (My) boyfriend didn’t give my anything on my birthday!
3. もうすこし時間をくれませんか？
   Can (you) give (me) a little more time?

Using 「もらう」 to receive

There is only one word for receiving something so you don’t have to worry about which one to use.

Example

1. 友達からチケットをもらった。
   (I) received (a) ticket from friend.
2. もう高校生だから、今年はお年玉をもらえなかった。
   Because (I’m) already (a) high school student, (I) couldn’t receive (the) New Year’s gift.

Comic 14 – バレンタインとホワイトデー

White Day is a holiday a month after Valentine’s day where men who received chocolate are expected to return the favor by giving gifts.

art by Josh Khoo

1. 明日 【あした】 – tomorrow
2. バレンタイン – Valentine’s (Day)
3. 何 【なに】 – what
4. チョコ – chocolate
5. あげる (ru-verb) – to give; to raise
6. 義理 【ぎ・り】 – duty; obligation
7. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
8. もらう (u-verb) – to receive
9. 嬉しい 【うれ・しい】 (i-adj) – happy
10. いや – no (casual)
11. 全然 【ぜん・ぜん】 (adv) – 1) not at all (negative), 2) entirely, completely
12. そう – so
13. ホワイトデー – White Day
14. 素敵 【す・てき】 (i-adj) – lovely; splendid
15. お返し 【お・かえ・し】 – return gift; return favor
16. お楽しみ 【お・たの・しみ】 – enjoyment, pleasure
17. お楽しみにする 【お・たの・しみにする】 (exp) – to look forward to
18. ちょっと – a little
19. 待つ 【ま・つ】 (u-verb) – to wait

ジョン：明日はバレンタインだね。
John: Tomorrow is Valentine, isn’t it?

アリス：だから何？チョコはあげないよ。
Alice: So? (I’m) won’t give (you) chocolate.

ジョン：義理チョコもくれないの？
John: Not even obligatory chocolate?

アリス：義理チョコをもらっても嬉しくないでしょう？
Alice: (You) won’t be happy to get (an) obligatory chocolate, right?

ジョン：いや、全然嬉しいよ？
John: No, (I’ll) be totally happy, you know?

アリス：そう？じゃ、ホワイトデーに素敵なお返しをお楽しみにしているね。
Alice: Is that so? Ok, (I) will be looking forward to (a) splendid return gift on White Day, then.

ジョン：えっ？ちょっと待って。ホワイトデーって何？
John: Huh? Wait a moment. What’s White Day?

Choosing the right words for giving and receiving

Choosing the right words for giving and receiving can be a bit confusing at first so lets look at a few ways to help you decide which word to use for giving and receiving.

Deciding between giving and receiving

In English, giving and receiving is simply a difference of viewpoint. For example, “I received a present from John” means practically the same thing as “John gave me a present” The same applies for Japanese as shown in the examples below.

1. ジョンにプレゼントをもらった。
   (I) received present from John.
2. ジョンがプレゼントをくれた。
   John gave (me) present.

Translated to English, both sentences essentially mean “John bought present for me”. While the viewpoint is reversed, essentially they are saying the same thing.

We don’t have to worry about which word to use for receiving because there is only one. So let’s look at how to decide which word to use for giving.

Giving from the speaker’s point of view

The easiest and most common scenario is when you, yourself is the one giving or receiving. As previously mentioned, because the speaker is always at the bottom, he/she will always use 「あげる」 to give to others and 「くれる」 when others give to the speaker.

1. 私にくれるの？
   Are (you) giving (it) to me?
2. 私があげるの？
   I’m giving (it) to you?

Using the same logic, it’s safe to say the following will always be incorrect regardless of the social status of the other person.

1. 私にあげるの？
2. 私がくれるの？

Giving from 3rd person’s point of view

The only scenario left is when both the giver and receiver is different from the speaker. This is the only ambiguous scenario where either 「くれる」 or 「あげる」 can be used. Basically, the speaker must choose which viewpoint he/she wants to look at the situation from.

For example, let’s say you wanted to know if Ａさん gave Ｂさん a present. If you were asking Ａさん, you would use 「あげる」 because you are looking at it from Ａさん’s perspective as the giver.

Ａさんは、Ｂさんにプレゼントをあげましたか？ （Asking Ａさん）

If you were asking Ｂさん, you would use 「くれる」 because you are looking at it from Ｂさん’s perspective as the receiver.

Ａさんは、Ｂさんにプレゼントをくれましたか？ （Asking Ｂさん）

In summary, deciding which word to use in this scenario can be described in two steps.

1. Pick a perspective either as the giver or receiver
2. Use 「あげる」 if from giver’s perspective or 「くれる」 if from receiver’s perspective (same as if you were the giver)

We learned how to say we don’t have to do something in the last section but we did not cover how to talk about things that have to be done. Because of the way it’s phrased in Japanese, the grammar for saying something has to be done is completely different than the grammar for saying something doesn’t have to be done.

First, let’s look at how to express something that one must not do.

Things that one must not do

Things that one must not do are expressed by using one of the three words: 「いけない」、「ならない」、 and 「だめ」. These are all negative expressions (the first two is actually using the negative form) meaning that something won’t do or is no good. Conjugating these expressions are simple if we know where they originate from.

1. いける (ru-verb) – can work; can make it; lit: can go （potential form of 「行く」）
2. なる (u-verb) – to become
3. 駄目 【だ・め】 (na-adj) – no good

While we can use 「いけない」 and 「だめ」 by themselves as shown in the examples below 「ならない」 cannot be used by itself.

Example

1. ここで携帯を使うのはだめ？
   Is using cell phone here bad?
2. それはいけませんね。
   That’s wrong/bad/no good.
3. ご両親に教えたのがいけなかったんだよ。
   Telling (your) parents is what was no good.

We can use either of the three words with verbs to say that action is no good or in essence, “one must not do the action” by using the following rule.

Example

1. 男の人はここに入ってはいけませんよ。
   Men must not enter here, you know.
2. お酒を飲んだ人は、車を運転してはならない。
   People who drank alcohol must not drive cars.

3. 悪い言葉を生徒に教えてはだめですよ。
   (You) must not teach students bad words, you know.

Things that must be done

In order to say that something must be done, we say not doing something is bad by using the previous grammar we just learned but with negative verbs. You can also use two of the conditionals we learned in the last chapter. This grammar may be a bit confusing at first because we need to use double negatives to say one must do something.

art by Josh Khoo

Comic 13

1. 先生 【せん・せい】 – teacher
2. トイレ – toilet; bathroom
3. 行く　【い・く】 – to go
4. いい (i-adj) – good
5. また – again
6. 駄目 【だ・め】 (na-adj) – no good
7. 無駄 【む・だ】 (na-adj) – futile
8. 短い 【みじか・い】 (i-adj) – short
9. 間 【あいだ】 – interval (between)
10. 宿題 【しゅく・だい】 (n) – homework
11. 出来る 【で・き・る】 (ru-verb) – to be able to do

ジョン：先生、トイレに行ってもいいですか。
John: Teacher, can (I) go to the bathroom?

先生：また行かないとダメなのか？
Teacher: (You) have to go again?

アリス：無駄よ。トイレに行っている短い間に宿題なんか出来ないよ。
Alice: (It’s) useless, you know. (You) can’t do something like homework in (the) short interval of going to the bathroom.

Example

1. この薬は一日に三回飲まなくてはなりません。
   (You) have to take this medicine 3 times a day.
2. 明日までに宿題をしないといけない。
   (I) have to do homework by tomorrow.
3. まだ早いのにもう帰らなければいけないんですか。
   Even though (it’s) still early, do (you) have to go home?

Casual variatons

There are a couple of casual variations of the grammar we just learned listed below.

Example

1. 男の人はここに入っちゃだめよ。
   Men must not enter here, you know.
2. まだ早いのにもう帰らなきゃいけないの？
   Even though (it’s) still early, do (you) have to go home?

Things can get quite lengthy with the double negative required to describe an action that must be done. When using the casual variations with the negative, you can also omit the 「いけない／ならない／だめ」 part of the grammar. This also applies to the 「と」 conditional.

Example

1. もっと勉強しなくちゃ。
   (I) have to study more.
2. 明日までに宿題をしないと。
   (I) have to do homework by tomorrow.
3. もう帰らなきゃ.
   (I) have to go home already.

Things of no consequence

The expressions “even if”, “regardless”, or “no matter” are used when something is of no consequence to something else. In Japanese, the same notion is expressed by combining the te-form with the 「も」 inclusive particle.

Example

1. 東京 【とう・きょう】 – Tokyo
2. どこ – where
3. 行く 【い・く】 (u-verb) – to go
4. とても – very
5. 込む 【こ・む】 (u-verb) – to become crowded
6. 気 【き】 – mood; intent
7. する (exception) – to do
8. 何回 【なん・かい】 – how many number of times
9. 聞く 【き・く】 (u-verb) – to ask; to listen
10. 答え 【こた・え】 – answer
11. 同じ 【おな・じ】 – same
12. 大学 【だい・がく】 – college
13. いい (i-adj) – good
14. 仕事 【し・ごと】 – job
15. 見つかる 【み・つかる】 (u-verb) – to be found
16. この – this （abbr. of これの）
17. アルバイト – part-time job
18. 学生 【がく・せい】 – student
19. 出来る 【で・き・る】 (ru-verb) – to be able to do

1. 東京は、どこに行ってもとても込んでいる気がする。
   As for Tokyo, (it) feels like it’s crowded wherever (you) go.
2. 何回も聞いても答えは同じだよ。
   Answer is the same no matter how many times (you) ask.
3. 大学に行かなくても、いい仕事は見つかりますか？
   Will (I) find (a) good job even if (I) don’t go to college?
4. このアルバイトは、学生でも出来ますか？
   Can (I) do this part-time job even if (I’m a) student?

Asking for permission

We can also ask for or grant permission by saying it’s ok or fine even if we do a certain action using the same 「～ても／～でも」 grammar.

Example

1. トイレに行ってもいいですか。
   Is it fine even if (I) go to the toilet?
2. お姉さんが、食べてもいいと言ったよ。
   Older sister said it’s fine to eat (it).
3. 遅くても来週までは大丈夫だ。
   Even if it’s late, it’s fine until next week.
4. 身分証は、学生証でも大丈夫ですか。
   As for identification, it is ok even if it’s (a) student id?

Things we don’t have to do

If we say it’s ok or fine even if we don’t do something by using the negative form, it means we don’t have to do it.

Example

1. 何もしなくてもいい。
   Don’t have to do anything.
   lit: (It’s) good even if (you) do nothing.
2. 明日は休日だから、来なくても大丈夫ですよ。
   Tomorrow is (a) holiday, so (you) don’t have to come, you know.
   lit: Because tomorrow is (a) holiday, (it’s) ok even if (you) don’t come.

In this chapter, we will learn how to talk about things that one may or may not have to do. This includes asking for favors, making requests and suggestions, and the various command forms.