Author: Tae Kim

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Other states using te-form

We learned how to express the progressive form by using the verb 「いる」 with the te-form of the verb. In this section, we’ll learn some other verbs we can use with the te-form to describe other kinds of states. When using these verbs in this fashion, it is customary to use Hiragana instead of Kanji.

Using 「ある」 to express an action already set

Till now, we have been using 「いる」 quite frequently with the te-form to express a progressive action. The other verb for existence: 「ある」 can also be used with the te-form, though the meaning is completely different.

Appending 「ある」 after the te-form of another verb is used to indicate the state of the verb as already completed. For example, you could use this grammar to ask what is written in a book as it describes a completed state of being written as opposed to “writing” or “wrote”. It also carries a nuance that the action was done as preparation for something else though it’s not as explicit as the 「～ておく」 grammar we’ll learn next.

Example

  1. その本には、何が書いてあるんですか？
    What is it that’s written in that book?
  2. 予約は、もうしてあるから、心配はいらないよ。
    (I) already made (the) reservation so (there’s) no need to worry.
  3. この店に頭痛薬は、置いてありますか？
    Are headache medicine(s) placed in this store?

Because 「～てある」 by itself described state after an action was completed, the past tense described that state as being in the past, for example to imply that the state is no longer true, invalid, or contradictory.

Example

  1. メールには、この駅で待ち合わせしようと書いてありましたよ。
    It was written in the mail, let’s meet up at this station, you know.
  2. 冷蔵庫に置いてあったプリン・・・。まさか、食べたんじゃないよね。
    The pudding (I) was placed in (the) refrigerator… No way (you) ate (it), right?

Using 「おく」 to prepare for the future

While the previous 「～てある」 grammar we learned can carry a nuance of preparation, it could only be used for completed actions. We can use the verb 「おく」 (“to place”), to describe an action specifically to prepare for something else. In addition, unlike 「～てある」, it can be used to described other tenses besides the past tense.

Example

  1. 今から行くから、デザートを少し残しておいてよ。
    (I’m) going now so please leave me some desert.
  2. 明日からは、連休だから、現金を下ろしておいたほうがいいよ。
    Holidays are from tomorrow so (you) should withdraw cash.
  3. 鍵をここに置いておくから、忘れないでね。
    (I’m) placing (the) key here so please don’t forget it, ok?

In casual speech, 「～て／～で＋おく」 can be shortened to 「とく／どく」.

Example

  1. 鍵をここに置いとくから、忘れないでね。
    (I’m) placing (the) key here so please don’t forget it, ok?
  2. 船に乗るなら、酔い止め薬を飲んどいた方がいいよ。
    If/since (you’re) riding (a) boat, (it’s) better

Using motion verbs with the te-form （いく／くる）

The verbs “to go” and “to come” （いく and くる respectively） can be used with the te-form of another verb to add a motion. This can either be a physical motion (eg to hold and bring something) or an abstract direction/trend (eg plans for the future going forward).

Example

  1. 仕事しなくて、これからどうやって生きていくつもりですか。
    How (do you) plan to live from here on out and not work?
  2. 明日の鍋パーティーに何を持ってくればいいの？
    What should (I) bring to the Nabe party tomorrow?
  3. うるさい！ああ、なんか頭が痛くなってきた。
    Noisy! Ah, (my) head has come to become hurting.
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Common patterns in slang

Casual speech patterns and slang in any language is rich, diverse, and constantly evolving so it’s difficult to really pin down “rules” on how to learn it. It’s best to pick it up by ear as you gain experience with conversation practice. For the beginner however, it can be quite confusing to read or hear slang that can’t be found in the dictionary.

In this section, we’ll take a look at some patterns in order to understand many common types of slang.

Using 「の」 vs 「か」 for questions

One common area of confusion is whether to use 「の」 or 「か」 to ask questions in casual speech. Previously, we learned that 「の」 is used to ask for or give additional explanation. This is the same for both polite and casual speech.

Example

  1. 今から時間ありますか。
    Do (you) have time from now?
  2. 今から時間ある？
    Do (you) have time from now?
  1. 今から時間があるのですか。
    (Why do) you have time from now?
  2. 今から時間があるの？
    (Why do) you have time from now?

「か」 on the other hand, is very different when used in casual speech from what we’re used to in polite speech. It’s often used to either confirm something, make a rhetorical question, or show disbelief or doubt. In order words, it’s rarely a real question at all. It’s also more rough and masculine in tone.

Example

  1. そんなこと、俺が知るかよ？！
    Like I would know that kind of thing!
  2. これで本当に大丈夫か？
    Is it really ok with this?
  3. まあ、いいか。
    Ah well, whatever, (it’s) fine.
  4. もう遅いし、そろそろ帰るか。
    It’s already late so shall (we) go home soon?

In conclusion, if you want to ask an actual question in casual speech, you’ll most likely want to use either 「の」 or just a rising intonation.

Shortening /r/ sounds to 「ん」

Many sounds get shortened or slurred together in slang just like any other language. For Japanese, the /r/ sounds in particular often get slurred into 「ん」. This is definitely a useful pattern to be aware of as it will make sense of a lot of words you wouldn’t normally find in a dictionary.

Example

  1. よくわかんない。（from 分からない）
    (I) don’t get really get it.
  2. ちょっと、そこをどいてくんない？（from くれない）
    Hey, can (you) move from there a bit?
  3. 何してんの？（from してる）
    Whatcha doing?
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Chapter Overview

In this chapter, we’re going to learn explore other useful expressions and grammar for various situations. In addition, we are also going to get a lot more reading and writing practice to expand our power of expression.

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Chapter summary and practice

In this chapter, we covered may different ways to express various levels of necessity in our actions. We can now talk about required and optional activities, ask for permission, make requests, and more. This is useful for navigating through the rules and manners of society, especially one with a very different culture like Japan. Another common application of what we learned in this chapter is to talk about your duties and responsibilities either at work, home, or school.

We also learned how to give and receive things or favors. This is particularly useful for talking about gift-giving and getting assistance on various things. In particular, the section on making suggestions will allow you to ask for advice on how to best way to do things such as studying Japanese.

Below are a list of sample topics you can write about or discuss with your conversation partner (either in casual or polite form as appropriate).

  1. 仕事や学校でどんなことをしないといけないの？
    What kind of things do you have to do at work or school?
  2. 日本語はどうやって勉強すればいいと思いますか。
    How (do you) think (I) should study Japanese?
  3. 自分の国ではどんな時にプレゼントをもらったり、あげたりしますか。
    At what kind of times do (you) receive or give presents in one’s own country?
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Making commands

In this section, we will learn the command form, which as the name suggests, is used to issue commands to others.

Using 「～なさい」 for polite command

「～なさい」 is the “polite” way to tell others what to do. It’s used by attaching 「なさい」 to the verb stem.

It’s polite grammatically but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re ordering others around, which is not very polite generally. It’s most commonly used by parents or other authority figures toward children.

Example

  1. 早く出かける準備をしなさい。
    Hurry up and prepare to go out.
  2. ちゃんと約束時間を守りなさいよ。
    Please properly keep the promised time.

In casual speech, the 「～なさい」 can also be shortened to just 「な」

Example

  1. 早く出かける準備をしな。
    Hurry up and prepare to go out.
  2. ちゃんと約束時間を守りなよ。
    Please properly keep the promised time.

Comic 15 – 女性の頼み方

バレンタイン

art by Josh Khoo
  1. 女性 【じょせい】 – woman; female
  2. 頼む 【たの・む】(u-verb) – to make a request
  3. 丁寧 【てい・ねい】(na-adj, n) polite
  4. すみません – sorry (polite)
  5. これ – this
  6. ちょっと – a little (casual)
  7. 見る 【み・る】(ru-verb) – to see
  8. 冷たい 【つめ・たい】(i-verb) – cold (to the touch); coldhearted
  9. そう – so
  10. 手伝う 【て・つだ・う】(u-verb) – to help
  11. あげる (ru-verb) – to give; to raise
  12. 気持ち 【き・もち】 – feeling, mood
  13. まったく- at all, entirely
  14. ある (u-verb) – to exist (inanimate)
  15. 分かる 【わ・かる】 (u-verb) – to understand
  16. 好き 【す・き】 (na-adj) – likable
  17. する (exception) – to do
  18. 萌え 【もえ】budding, having a crush
  19. あのう／あの – say; well; errr
  20. 先輩 【せん・ぱい】- senior (at work or school)
  21. 運ぶ 【はこ・ぶ】(u-verb) – to carry, to transport
  22. もらう (u-verb) – to receive
  23. 物 【もの】 – thing
  24. 駄目 【だ・め】 (na-adj) – no good
  25. 脅迫 【きょう・はく】- threat, coercion
  26. あら – oh my
  27. どこ – where
  28. 行く 【い・く】 – to go
  29. 付き合う 【つ・き・あ・う】(u-verb) – to keep company with, to go out with
  30. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
  31. さもないと – otherwise, or else

丁寧
すみません。これ、ちょっと見てもらえますか？

冷たい
あ、そう。手伝ってあげたいという気持ちはまったくないようね。分かった。好きにしなさい。

萌え
あのう、先輩、運んでもらいたい物があるんですけど・・・　ダメ？

脅迫
あら、どこに行くの？これからちょっと付き合ってくれない？さもないと・・・

Toggle Translations

Polite
Sorry. Can you look at this a bit?

Threatening
I see. Seems like you have absolutely no feeling of wanting to help. (I) got it. Go ahead and do as (you) please.

Moe
Umm… senpai. There’s something I want you to move but… is it bad?

Threatening
Oh my, where (are you) going? Can (you) accompany (me) for a bit, or else…

Wanting others to do something

We can use the i-adjective 「欲しい」, which means “desired” or “wanted” with verbs to say you want somebody to do something. This is done by first conjugating the verb to the te-form, then attaching 「欲しい」（or ほしい） to the end of the verb. The result remains an i-adjective.

Examples

  1. 郵便局に行って欲しいんだけど、大丈夫？
    (I) want (you) to go to (the) post office but (is it) ok?
  2. 言っていることがいまいち分からないから、何をしてほしいのかはっきり教えてよ。
    (I) don’t really understand what (you are) saying so please tell me what (you) want (me) to do clearly.

Command Form

This command form is quite rude so you should use it with caution (if at all). As we learned just in this chapter, there are many other more polite ways to make a request.

Command form conjugation rules

  1. For ru-verbs: Replace the last 「る」 with 「ろ」
    Example: 食べる + ろ = 食べろ
  2. For u-verbs: Replace the last u-vowel sound with the e-vowel equivalent
    Example: 買う + え = 買え
  3. Exceptions:
    1. する → しろ
    2. くる → こい
    3. くれる → くれ (exception for this conjugation only, not an exception verb)

Negative Command

In order to command others to not do an action, simply attach 「な」 to the end of the verb.

Examples

  1. 秘密だから、誰にも言うなよ。
    (It’s a) secret so don’t tell anybody.
  2. 余計なことをするな。
    Don’t do something unnecessary.

Do NOT confuse this negative command with the shortened form of 「～なさい」 we just learned. The latter is using the stem of the verb while the negative command uses just the dictionary form.

  1. これを食べな。
    Eat this.
  2. これを食べるな。
    Don’t eat this.
  1. ここに座りな。
    Sit here.
  2. ここに座るな。
    Don’t sit here.
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Causative and passive verbs

Causative Verb Form

The causative form gets its name because it causes something to happen either by making or letting somebody do the action. While it may seem odd to have the exact same verb form for two very different uses, we’ll find that it’s not hard to tell which is intended when given the proper context. Below are the rules for conjugating a verb to the causative form. All verbs in the causative form are ru-verbs.

Rules for causative form conjugation

  • For ru-verbs: Replace the last 「る」 with 「させる」.
    Example

    1. 食べる＋させる = 食べさせる
    2. 出る＋させる = 出させる
  • For u-verbs: Change the last character as you would for negative verbs but attach 「せる」 instead of 「ない」.
    Example

    1. 飲む＋ま＋せる = 飲ませる
    2. 待つ＋た＋せる = 持たせる
    3. 買う＋わ＋せる = 買わせる
  • Exceptions:
    1. する → させる
    2. くる → こさせる

Example

  1. 私にもやらせてよ。
    Let me do it too.
  2. びっくりさせないでよ。
    Don’t make me surprised. (Don’t scare me.)
  3. 無理矢理にお酒を飲ませるのはよくないよな。
    (It’s) not good to forcibly make (someone) drink alcohol, huh?
  4. もう来ていましたか。待たせてごめんなさい。
    (You’re) were already here? Sorry (I) made (you) wait.

Passive Verb Form

The passive form is used to change the verb into a passive voice. A verb in the passive form is always a ru-verb. The conjugation rule for ru-verbs is the same as the rule for potential form. However, it’s not really hard to tell them apart given enough context.

Rules for passive form conjugation

  • For ru-verbs: Replace the last 「る」 with 「られる」.
    Example

    1. 食べる＋られる = 食べられる
    2. 出る＋られる = 出られる
  • For u-verbs: Change the last character as you would for negative verbs but attach 「れる」 instead of 「ない」.
    Example

    1. 飲む＋ま＋れる = 飲まれる
    2. 待つ＋た＋れる = 持たれる
    3. 買う＋わ＋れる = 買われる
  • Exceptions:
    1. する → される
    2. くる → こられる

Example

  1. 姉にばれたら何をされるか分からないよ。
    If (my) older sister finds out, (I) don’t know what will be done (to me).
  2. 変な人だと思われたくない。
    (I) don’t want to be thought of as (a) strange person.
  3. 先から誰かに見られている気がしない？
    Doesn’t it feel like (we’re) being watch by someone from just a while ago?
  4. 行かないでと言われても約束だから行かないとだめだよ。
    Even if I’m told, “Don’t go”, (it’s a) promise so (I) have to go, you know.

Using Causative and Passive together

The causative and passive conjunctions can be used together to describe being made to do something. The rules are simple, you simple need to conjugate the verb to the causative and then conjugate the resulting ru-verb to the passive form.

Example

  1. 待たせられるのは、嫌いでしょう？
    Don’t (you) hate being made to wait?
  2. 子供の時に、色々な物を食べさせられたから、好き嫌いは、あまりないよ。
    As a child, (I) was made to eat various things so (I) don’t have a lot of likes/dislikes.
  3. させられたと言うけど、結局、それはあんたのためだったんでしょう？
    (You) say (you) were made to do (it) but in the end, (it) was for your benefit, right?

Comic 16 – バカな日本語を考えさせないでよ

文法の宿題

art by Angela Lee
  1. バカ (n/na-adj) – fool; stupid
  2. 日本語 【に・ほん・ご】 – Japanese language
  3. 考える 【かんが・える】(ru-verb) – to think
  4. この – this
  5. 宿題 【しゅく・だい】 – homework
  6. 全然 【ぜん・ぜん】 – not at all (when used with negative)
  7. 分かる 【わ・かる】 (u-verb) – to understand; to know
  8. 言う 【い・う】 (u-verb) – to say
  9. 文法 【ぶん・ぽう】 – grammar
  10. 使う 【つか・う】(u-verb) – to use
  11. 例文 【れい・ぶん】 – example sentence
  12. 教える 【おし・える】(ru-verb) – to teach; to inform
  13. じゃ – then; so; well
  14. これ – this
  15. どう – how
  16. ずっと – a long time
  17. 一緒 【いっ・しょ】 – together
  18. いる (u-verb) – to exist (animate)
  19. ロマンチック – romantic
  20. なんか – something
  21. セクハラ – sexual harassment
  22. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
  23. それじゃ – well then
  24. M 【えむ】 – slang for masochist
  25. なる (u-verb) – to become
  26. 正直 【しょう・じき】 – honesty; honestly
  27. 私 【わたし】 – polite, gender-neutral
  28. やめる (ru-verb) – to stop; to quit

ジョン：この宿題、全然わからない。「させる」という文法を使った例文を教えて。

アリス：じゃ、これはどう？「ずっと一緒にいさせて」。
ロマンチックでしょう？

ジョン：じゃ、「ずっと一緒にいさせられた」は？

アリス：なんかセクハラされたっぽいね。

ジョン：それじゃ、「ずっと一緒にいさせられてくれ」は？？

アリス：なんかMっぽくなっちゃったね。

ジョン：じゃじゃ、「ずっと一緒にいさせされてくれさせない」は？？！

アリス：正直、私も分からなくなってきちゃった。バカな日本語を考えるのをやめたら？

Toggle Translations

John: Don’t get this homework at all. Can (you) teach (me) an example sentence (that) uses させる grammar?

Alice: Ok, how about this? Let me be together with you forever. Romantic, isn’t it?

John: Ok, what about “I was made to be together with you forever”?

Alice: Sounds like (you’re) being sexually harassed.

John: Ok then, what about “Please let me be made to be with you forever”?!

Alice: (It’s) turning out like something masochist.

John: Ok ok, what about “She won’t let me be made to be with her forever”??!

Alice: Honestly, I starting to not understand it either. Why don’t (you) stop thinking about stupid Japanese?

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Making suggestions

We just learned various ways to make a request. Now, we are going to look at some ways to make suggestions or recommendations.

How about it?

The simplest way to make a suggestion is by using the word “how”: 「どう」. We already learned the grammar we need to do this with the 「の」 particle.

Example

  1. ５時に会うのはどう？
    How about meeting at 5:00?
  2. 先生に相談してみるのはどうですか。
    How about trying to confer with (the) teacher?

Another very similar pattern is to use the 「たら」 conditional to ask, “how about if”.

Example

  1. ５時に会ったらどう？
    How about if (we) meet at 5:00?
  2. 先生に相談してみたらどうですか。
    How about if (you) try to confer with (the) teacher.

It’s better to do this

Another option is to use a comparison 「方」 to say it’s better to do one thing versus the alternative. Using the past tense of the verb in this pattern makes the suggestion more particular to the situation at hand and hence makes it sound a bit stronger.

Example

  1. 病院に行った方がいいよ。
    It’s better (for you) to go to hospital. (You should go to the hospital.)
  2. 病院に行く方がいいよ。
    It’s better to go to hospital.
  3. ひざが痛いですけど、病院に行った方がいいですか。
    (My) knee hurts but is (it) better to go to the hospital?

Asking for suggestions

We just learned how to ask if it’s better to do one thing by using a comparison with 「いい」. We can also ask for suggestions on what to do by using the conditional and 「いい」 as shown in the examples below.

Example

  1. ９時に行けばいいの？
    I should go at 9 o’clock?
    lit: If (I) go at 9 o’clock, is (it) good?
  2. どうすればいいですか。
    What should (I) do?
    lit: If (I) do how, will (it) be good?
  3. ジャズは何から聴いたらいいですか。
    What should (I) start listening from for Jazz?
    lit: As for Jazz, if (I) start listening from what, is (it) good?

当たり前

ジョン：日本語で何かを頼む時に、「あげる」「くれる」「もらう」の中でどれを使えばいいか、よく分からないんだよな。

アリス：私が教えてあげようか？例を言ってみて。

ジョン：じゃ、他人に何かをしてあげる時にどれを使ったらいい？

アリス：それは、「あげる」でしょう？

ジョン：他人が自分のために何かをしてくれた時は？

アリス：それは、当然「くれる」。

ジョン：最後に、自分が何かを他人にしてもらいたい時？

アリス：・・・そんな質問を日本語で聞けるのなら、もう問題ないんじゃないの？

ジョン：ごめん、自分の質問の意味も分かってなかった。

アリス：・・・

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Making firm requests

While we learned how to ask for favors in the last section, in this section we’ll learn various ways to make firmer requests in the form of a statement.

Using 「ください」 to make a firm request

「ください」（下さい） is a polite way to make a firm request for something. It can also be used with the te-form of a verb to request an action. It can be written in either Kanji or Hiragana though it’s more common to use Hiragana when combined with a verb.

Example

  1. あのペンを下さい。
    Please give me that pen.
  2. あのペンを使ってください。
    Please use that pen.

Negative verb with 「ください」

In order to ask to not do something, take the negative of the word, attach 「で」, then attach 「ください」 similar to the rule we learned in the last section.

Example

  1. ボールペンは使わないでください。
    Please don’t use (a) pen.
  2. 着替え中ですから入らないでください。
    (I’m) changing so please don’t come in.

Casual version of 「ください」

「ください」 is a polite expression so in order to say the same thing for casual situation, we can simply drop 「ください」 entirely.

  1. あのペンを使って。
    Please use that pen.
  2. ボールペンは使わないで。
    Please don’t use (a) pen.

Using 「ちょうだい」 for casual requests

「ちょうだい」 can be used instead of 「ください」 for casual speech. While 「ちょうだい」 can be used by anyone, it does have a slight feminine and childish nuance.

Example

  1. あのペンをちょうだい。
    Give me that pen.
  2. あのペンを使ってちょうだい。
    Use that pen.
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Doing favors for others

We can use the three words we just learned for giving and receiving with other verbs to express the action as a favor. This construction is used to make requests and do things for others.

Giving and receiving favors

In order to use one of the three words we learned for giving and receiving with another verb, first change the verb to the te-form and then attach the word for giving or receiving to the end of the verb.

Example

  1. 頭が悪いから先生が特別に説明をしてくれた。
    (I’m) not smart so (the) teacher explained (it) specially for me.
  2. お金がないから、昼ご飯をおごってくれる？
    (I) don’t have money so will (you) treat me to lunch for me?
  3. これが欲しいなら、買ってあげるよ。
    If (you) want this, (I will) buy (it) for you, you know.
  4. 今はちょっと手が離せないので、後で電話してもらえますか。
    (I’m) in the middle of something now so can you call (me) later?

Requesting to not do something

In order to express the negative, ie to give the favor of not doing the action, change the verb to the negative, attach 「で」, then the word for giving or receiving.

Example

  1. 突然変なことを言わないでくれる？
    Can you not say strange thing(s) all of a sudden?
  2. 勉強しているからうるさくしないでくれる？
    (I’m) studying so can you not do noisily for me?
  3. 今月の家計はきついからしばらくはお金を使わないでもらえる？
    This month’s family finance is tight so can (I) receive favor of not using money for a while?

怠け者

父： おい、アリス！

アリス： 何よ？

父： そこの窓を閉めてくれないか？

アリス： わざわざ目の前にある窓を閉めてもらうために私を大声で呼んだの？しかも、別の部屋から。

父： いいことを教えてあげよう。お前もいつか子供が出来たらこんなのも出来るんだって。

アリス： 自分の子供をこき使うのがそんなにいいの？

父： こき使うって、お前、学校で日本語の勉強を始めたら、妙なことを言うようになったな。他の生徒から変な日本語を習っていないだろうか？

アリス： ・・・さすがにそれはないと思う。

Toggle Translations

Father: Hey, Alice!

Alice: What?

Father: Can you close that window (for me)?

Alice: (You) went out of your way to call with loud voice to (receive favor of) closing window in front of (your) eyes? Not to mention, from (a) separate room.

Father: Let me (give you favor of) teaching good thing. That when you have kids one day, you can do this kind of thing.

Alice: Is it so good to push around your own child like that?

Father: Push around… (you’ve) started saying some strange things once (you) started learning Japanese. (You’re) not learning strange Japanese from the other students, right?

Alice: …That I’m pretty sure is not the case.

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Giving and Receiving

Giving and receiving whether it’s objects or favors is a bit more complicated in Japanese because you need to be aware of the social status between the giver and the receiver. Basically, there are two words for giving and one word for receiving listed below.

Vocabulary

  1. あげる (ru-verb) – to give; to raise
  2. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
  3. もらう (u-verb) – to receive

In this section, we’ll look at examples of when to use which words for giving and receiving.

Using 「あげる」 to give “upwards”

The word 「あげる」, which also means to “raise” is used when giving upwards to a person of a higher social status. The important thing to remember is that the speaker is always below everybody else. As a result, when the speaker is giving something to somebody else, he/she must always use 「あげる」. In other words, when you, yourself, is giving something, you must always use 「あげる」.

Example

  1. これをあげるよ。
    (I’ll) give this to (you).
  2. 私は、昨日弟にプレゼントをあげたよ。
    I gave (my) younger brother (the) present yesterday, you know.
  3. 私が買った飲み物だから、あげませんよ。
    I bought (the) drink so (I’m) not going to give it (to you).

Using 「くれる」 to give “downwards”

The word 「くれる」 is used to give downwards to a person of a lower social status. Once again, because the speaker is at the bottom, everything given to the speaker will always use 「くれる」. In other words, everything given to you must be expressed with 「くれる」.

Example

  1. それをくれるの？
    (Are you) giving that to (me)?
  2. 彼氏は、私の誕生日に何もくれなかったよ！
    (My) boyfriend didn’t give my anything on my birthday!
  3. もうすこし時間をくれませんか？
    Can (you) give (me) a little more time?

Using 「もらう」 to receive

There is only one word for receiving something so you don’t have to worry about which one to use.

Example

  1. 友達からチケットをもらった。
    (I) received (a) ticket from friend.
  2. もう高校生だから、今年はお年玉をもらえなかった。
    Because (I’m) already (a) high school student, (I) couldn’t receive (the) New Year’s gift.

Comic 14 – バレンタインとホワイトデー

White Day is a holiday a month after Valentine’s day where men who received chocolate are expected to return the favor by giving gifts.

バレンタイン

art by Josh Khoo
  1. 明日 【あした】 – tomorrow
  2. バレンタイン – Valentine’s (Day)
  3. 何 【なに】 – what
  4. チョコ – chocolate
  5. あげる (ru-verb) – to give; to raise
  6. 義理 【ぎ・り】 – duty; obligation
  7. くれる (ru-verb) – to give
  8. もらう (u-verb) – to receive
  9. 嬉しい 【うれ・しい】 (i-adj) – happy
  10. いや – no (casual)
  11. 全然 【ぜん・ぜん】 (adv) – 1) not at all (negative), 2) entirely, completely
  12. そう – so
  13. ホワイトデー – White Day
  14. 素敵 【す・てき】 (i-adj) – lovely; splendid
  15. お返し 【お・かえ・し】 – return gift; return favor
  16. お楽しみ 【お・たの・しみ】 – enjoyment, pleasure
  17. お楽しみにする 【お・たの・しみにする】 (exp) – to look forward to
  18. ちょっと – a little
  19. 待つ 【ま・つ】 (u-verb) – to wait

ジョン：明日はバレンタインだね。
John: Tomorrow is Valentine, isn’t it?

アリス：だから何？チョコはあげないよ。
Alice: So? (I’m) won’t give (you) chocolate.

ジョン：義理チョコもくれないの？
John: Not even obligatory chocolate?

アリス：義理チョコをもらっても嬉しくないでしょう？
Alice: (You) won’t be happy to get (an) obligatory chocolate, right?

ジョン：いや、全然嬉しいよ？
John: No, (I’ll) be totally happy, you know?

アリス：そう？じゃ、ホワイトデーに素敵なお返しをお楽しみにしているね。
Alice: Is that so? Ok, (I) will be looking forward to (a) splendid return gift on White Day, then.

ジョン：えっ？ちょっと待って。ホワイトデーって何？
John: Huh? Wait a moment. What’s White Day?

Choosing the right words for giving and receiving

Choosing the right words for giving and receiving can be a bit confusing at first so lets look at a few ways to help you decide which word to use for giving and receiving.

Deciding between giving and receiving

In English, giving and receiving is simply a difference of viewpoint. For example, “I received a present from John” means practically the same thing as “John gave me a present” The same applies for Japanese as shown in the examples below.

  1. ジョンにプレゼントをもらった。
    (I) received present from John.
  2. ジョンがプレゼントをくれた。
    John gave (me) present.

Translated to English, both sentences essentially mean “John bought present for me”. While the viewpoint is reversed, essentially they are saying the same thing.

We don’t have to worry about which word to use for receiving because there is only one. So let’s look at how to decide which word to use for giving.

Giving from the speaker’s point of view

The easiest and most common scenario is when you, yourself is the one giving or receiving. As previously mentioned, because the speaker is always at the bottom, he/she will always use 「あげる」 to give to others and 「くれる」 when others give to the speaker.

  1. 私にくれるの？
    Are (you) giving (it) to me?
  2. 私があげるの？
    I’m giving (it) to you?

Using the same logic, it’s safe to say the following will always be incorrect regardless of the social status of the other person.

  1. 私にあげるの？
  2. 私がくれるの？

Giving from 3rd person’s point of view

The only scenario left is when both the giver and receiver is different from the speaker. This is the only ambiguous scenario where either 「くれる」 or 「あげる」 can be used. Basically, the speaker must choose which viewpoint he/she wants to look at the situation from.

For example, let’s say you wanted to know if Ａさん gave Ｂさん a present. If you were asking Ａさん, you would use 「あげる」 because you are looking at it from Ａさん’s perspective as the giver.

Ａさんは、Ｂさんにプレゼントをあげましたか？ （Asking Ａさん）

If you were asking Ｂさん, you would use 「くれる」 because you are looking at it from Ｂさん’s perspective as the receiver.

Ａさんは、Ｂさんにプレゼントをくれましたか？ （Asking Ｂさん）

In summary, deciding which word to use in this scenario can be described in two steps.

  1. Pick a perspective either as the giver or receiver
  2. Use 「あげる」 if from giver’s perspective or 「くれる」 if from receiver’s perspective (same as if you were the giver)